


This Place of No Return

by anr



Category: Stargate Atlantis RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-23
Updated: 2007-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-23 04:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anr/pseuds/anr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Torri and Joe said goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Place of No Return

  


* * *

  


The day they start filming _Irresistible_ , Joe walks Torri to her car.

It's not intentional -- he wasn't hanging around waiting for her to leave or anything -- but when he steps out of his trailer and sees her starting across the lot, calling out for her to wait up just seems like the thing to do.

She turns at the sound of her name, slowing long enough for him to jog the dozen or so steps to her side.

"Hey," she says easily, shifting Sedge's leash to her other hand so that there's nothing between them. "I thought you left already?"

He had, but. "Forgot my cell."

"Ah."

They walk in silence, the setting sun a warm burn on the back of his neck. When he looks down, he can't help but notice that their steps are in sync, and he feels like he should say something -- maybe talk about the script again, or tomorrow's planned filming -- but everything he thinks of seems unnecessary, possibly even contrived. He keeps quiet.

Before he knows it, they're at her car. He watches her guide Sedge onto the backseat, and toss her backpack onto the passenger seat, before turning to face him.

"Tomorrow?" she asks, and he nods.

"You and me," he agrees, and her responding smile is blinding. For just a moment, he can't breathe.

Walking around the car, she opens her door and starts to step in, pausing long enough to look at him over the roof. "See you, Joe," she says with a little wave, "thanks for a great day."

"Yeah," he says on an exhale, "see you."

He watches her drive away.

  


* * *

  


Two days after the mid-year hiatus officially begins, Torri sends them all an email saying _goodbye_ , _have fun_ , and _don't forget to come visit if you're in town_.

For reasons he doesn't particularly want to explore, Joe waits until he knows she's on the road to LA before replying.

  


* * *

  


They run lines for _Submersion_ at Rachel's place until two in the morning, until they're all tired, and cranky, snapping at each other far more than the script warrants. It's the first time they've gotten together as a group since Paul's exit from the show, and his absence is conspicuous.

"Fuck this," says Torri, after David and Jason get into yet another argument, "I'm outta here." She has her jacket and keys in hand before anyone can do or say anything; has left before it even occurs to them that they probably should have.

"Great!" says David, tossing away his script. "Now look what you've done!"

"What _I've_ done?" Jason stands up and takes a step closer to David. "Oh, I don't think so."

"Guys --" starts Rachel, moving to intercept, and Joe takes that as his cue and slips out after Torri.

He catches up with her before she can reach her car, but only just. "Tor," he says, "wait."

"Go back inside, Joe."

"C'mon, don't be like this." He reaches out to touch her shoulder and is surprised (not to mention confused, and a little hurt) when she quickly jerks away the moment his fingers brush against her jacket. "Torri?"

"Look," she says, unlocking her car and throwing her script inside, "just leave it, okay? It's late, we're all tired, and --" She shakes her head, cutting herself off. "It's late," she repeats. "So, you know, good night and goodbye and all that crap. I'll see you tomorrow."

There's something wrong. There's something wrong, and it's _not_ related to tonight's run of short tempers and childish bickering, because he knows her, for three _years_ now he's known her, and it's just not like her to get all bent out of shape for no good reason.

He stares at her, at the white knuckled grip she has on her car door, keys clenched tightly in the hand resting on the roof, waiting for him to echo her goodbye. Her shoulders straight and unyielding as she stands with her back to him and the house, an empty street stretching out in front of her.

In that moment, he _knows_.

He can't explain how he knows, can barely understand the _idea_ of it, let alone comprehend how his mind has suddenly come to this conclusion; his voice betrays his shock. "When?"

A fine tremor skitters along her shoulders. "Season finale," she says quietly, and despite the fact that he was waiting for her confirmation -- was _asking_ for it -- her lack of denial is a blow he wasn't expecting. He sucks in a harsh breath.

"But --"

She turns sharply, letting go of her car and taking a step closer to him. Her hand comes up, palm forward. " _Don't_ ," she says, the word breaking neatly in half, "just --"

He kisses her.

For a hundred different reasons -- or maybe just for one, he doesn't know -- he kisses her. Without any hesitation, her arms wind around his neck, fingernails dragging through his hair, while one of his hands spans the space between her shoulder blades and the other locks on her hip. They are pressed together within moments and he backs her up against her car, pinning her between him and the cool metal, the kiss rapidly spiralling out of control --

She pushes him away.

His breathing uneven, he follows her lead and steps back, his hands fisting at his sides. _Shit_.

Her gaze flickers from his. "Goodbye, Joe," she says, and gets into her car.

She's gone before he can reply.

  


* * *

  


She's still asleep when he finishes showering and dressing, still tangled in sheets and comforter, glimpses of bare skin visible where the bedding has slipped. Sunlight is slowly creeping across the corner of the bed, catching the curve of her outstretched hand, and even though he knows that he shouldn't, that he's already late -- by now Kath and the boys will be awake, eating breakfast and wondering where he is -- he can't stop himself from sitting on the edge.

She doesn't stir, and he's desperately tempted to lie back down beside her.

In his pocket, his cell beeps again, reminding him that he has a message waiting. Reluctantly, he pulls it out.

_u slept on our sofa last nite. b cool bro._

It's from Jason, and he feels a sick mixture of shame and gratitude as he reads and rereads the message. He really doesn't deserve this degree of friendship from the man.

Putting the phone away, he closes his eyes and wishes -- not the first time -- that he knew how to fix this, how to make things _un_ fucked up. He feels like he's being pulled in two, with his love for his family on one side, and an inability to say goodbye to the woman sleeping beside him on the other. Sooner or later, he knows, one side is going to have to give and that thought terrifies him.

On the bedside table, her alarm clock turns on, and he quickly leans across and silences it before she can wake. Seven o'clock -- if he doesn't leave now, he won't even have time to call by his house before going to work.

And he really _should_ go home.

Gritting his teeth, he forces himself to get up, to walk away, but pauses briefly at the door. He knows that he needs to at least _try_. "Goodbye," he mutters, the syllables bitter on his tongue.

He leaves before he can take them back.

  


* * *

  


"So," she says, leaning against her car, "I guess this is it."

 _Fuck_. "Guess so."

From the backseat, Sedge whines quietly and scratches at the window, and Joe focuses on that sound, on the click of claws on glass, because if he doesn't -- if he doesn't...

"Hey," she says softly, drawing his attention, "hey, Joe -- don't." She shakes her head slightly and graces him with a sad smile. "No regrets, remember?"

 _Right_ , he thinks, _sure_. "No regrets," he echoes.

In his pocket, his cell phone starts to vibrate -- he recognises the start-and-stop pattern as the one he's assigned to Kath -- but he doesn't retrieve it and, after a moment, it goes through to voicemail.

Her turn to look away. "I'm going to miss you," she says casually, staring at her house -- _former_ house, he has to remind himself, she lives only in LA now -- and he nods quickly, wanting to echo the same but suddenly unable to trust his voice.

Sedge barks, and they both start. He watches Torri flick her keys around her finger before catching them against her palm and knows that this is it, this is the end.

"Goodbye, Torri." The words sound hoarse, even to his own ears. "Don't --"

_Don't be a stranger. Don't drive too fast on the highway. Don't forget us._

_Don't go._

He refuses to let himself finish the sentence and, when the silence drags on for too long, she seems to realise that as well. Nodding, she pushes away from the car and circles around to the other side, opening her door.

It takes all his resolve not to slide across the hood and steal her keys.

"Joe?"

He forces himself to meet her gaze steadily. "Yeah?"

She bites her lower lip, hard enough to leave an imprint, then releases it to draw in a deep breath. "You could come with me."

She says it so quietly that, for just a moment, he's not sure he's heard her correctly. Her terrified expression, however, suggests that he did. "I don't have any clothes," he hears himself reply, and it's a stupid thing to say, he knows it is, but --

"You could buy some," she says.

\-- this is huge, frighteningly huge. This is the kind of decision that could -- that _would_ \-- change his entire life, the repercussions _endless_.

"Okay."

He's not sure who's more surprised by his agreement -- him or her -- but the moment he thinks to maybe take it back, he knows that he can't. That he doesn't _want_ to.

He has a feeling that, rightly or wrongly, he actually made this decision a long time ago, that it's just taken until now to voice it.

"Okay," she repeats faintly.

He nods. "Okay."

He takes a step towards her car, and then another; feels a smile start to form for what seems like the first time in days, weeks, hell, _months_...

Torri smiles back, bright and brilliant.

He gets into the car. 

  


* * *

The End

**Author's Note:**

> ORIGINAL URL: <http://anr.livejournal.com/289224.html>


End file.
